So since about May I’ve been under a rock…and with good reason. I decided that I would try to get my Kansas license to practice law. Though it has been about 15 years since I graduated from law school, the cost of raising four children as well as pressure to pay off my student loans compelled me to attempt such an arduous task. Close your eyes and imagine, if you will, the money we’ll spend on things like toilet paper, tampons, braces, glasses, makeup, hair thingies, prom dresses, college tuition, wedding dresses…and the list goes on and on.
The logic behind the decision to take the exam is a little fuzzy as I reflect back on it now, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that getting my license to practice would thereby increase my earning potential. The goal was to get licensed, find a great job that paid a fabulous salary, and start living the good life. Now, let’s not debate the merits of that plan now. Let’s just suspend reality for a moment and forget that the economy and the job market are in the toilet. That’s what I’m trying to do as I sit and wait for what seems like an eternity for the results.
How was it, you ask? It was hell on earth. I liken it to having a lobotomy while completely awake and alert. It felt like my skull spontaneously cracked open, I reached in, grabbed a piece of my brain and left it on the bloodied page. I’m not even kidding. No, seriously. I’m not even cracking a smile. And I’m pretty sure that everyone taking the test with me would agree. At the end of the second day, one girl was crying and two guys were sitting with their head in their hands. I mean that. test. is. BRUTAL.
And since I don’t test well, it was even more hellacious for me. I’m pretty sure it would come as no surprise to anyone who knows me or reads my blog that I tend to over-analyze. I agonize over the smallest of decisions like where to hang a painting in my house because of the absolute permanence of it. So give me a page of facts followed by 4 questions, and ask me to pick a side and write a clear answer? Fuhgeddaboutit.
Add in the fact that they require you to write your essay answers in pen, WHICH IS PERMANENT (if you didn’t know), and I’m a complete mess. I’m the kid who would iron her paper if it somehow got wrinkled. Or if I had to erase a lot or mark something out I had written in pen, I simply threw the page away and started over. Unfortunately, I haven’t gotten much better as an adult. Each blog post goes through about 50 edits and I continue to edit even after I’ve posted. Wow, now that I’ve typed that out, I am beginning to understand the depth of my craziness.
Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I have no idea if I passed the exam. I took it at the end of July and won’t get the results until mid-September. What will I do if I pass? I don’t know really. I think I’ll be so shocked I won’t know what to do for a while. And if I don’t pass?